oh my fuckign god can everyone on the aromantic tag please shut the fuck up about valentines day THE WORLD IS NOT CATERED TO YOU, SHOCKING I KNOW
So how is it then that when you want entire minority groups to exists a certain way its “freedom of speech” for you to be allowed whine and complain but when they voice their opinions its not allowed?
the fuck are you talking about
are you sure you reblogged the right post
"oh my fuckign god can everyone on the aromantic tag please shut the fuck up about valentines day THE WORLD IS NOT CATERED TO YOU, SHOCKING I KNOW”
That post, among others (as in, the one you just reblogged). You basically (Actually explicitly did) just told them to shut up while stating how they should act.
Also: that ask you got where you were asked to stop tagging things as “ace safe” when they are a) harmful to people, and b) you hate that term, so why perpetuate it?
A shame really, your blog would be worth following if it weren’t for:
- Your stance about who is Asexual
- Your stance on the aromantic/asexual spectrum
- Your stance about who is Transgender
- Your stance on various nonbinary peoples
Which is sad.
We know the world is not catered to us
Y’know how? 8D
I’m gonna tell you.
There is a holiday. For romantic couples. Deemed as the single most important holiday for romantic couples. Actually, single most important holiday for relationships. Because all relationships are romantic, obviously! You would only need a Super Special Day for the best relationship ever: your romantic partner! How awesome is that?!
Except it is the single most isolating thing when you are aromantic. Valentine’s day is everything that aromantics are insecure about wrapped up in one overly hyped symbolic public declaration of love.
It consistently reinforces that romantic relationships are the single most important relationship in a person’s life. A day for friends does not exist, or if it does it is not socially acceptable. There are no “dates” for friendship. If you are “dating” a friend, you are in a romantic relationship with that friend. That is what society tells us. Society also tells us that your romantic relationships are more important than friendships. The general advice is “oh, once they get a romantic relationship, everything changes.” The number of times I’ve heard that my friends will get distant— for YEARS— because they have a romantic partner is staggering. And, yes, in some cases, my friends do get distant. The only ones who don’t, really, are the ones who put in a massive conscious effort to still include me.
But wait! There’s more!
Aromanticism is defined as not feeling romantic attraction. This means, surprise!, that aromantics aren’t going to feel this “wonderful” thing called romantic love. It is not within them to actually feel. Therefore, you have this huge holiday for a type of attraction that leaves out a proportion of the population who do not get it. And this “leaving out” is very much literal. Because it is the day where you take your romantic partner out, not your queerplatonic partner out. It is the day mushy, romantic couples are seen as the ideal.
Can you see where this is going?
A whole day.
Where there is nothing at all.
For a group of people.
Whose friends are the best relationships in their lives.
Aromantics already feel alienated enough in this world. Posts like this are exactly the reason why.
In that case then I should get angry because Hanukkah is a holiday for Jewish people and I’m not Jewish so it’s ERASURE.
And Christmas is a primarily Christian holiday and I don’t believe in any kind of God. ERASURE.
There’s Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. I am not a parent. ERASURE.
Independence day. I’m not American, how dare those Americans have a holiday on MY birthday?! ERASURE.
Thanksgiving?! What the fuck, these greedy Americans are erasing me so much!!
WHY DOES THE WORLD NOT REVOLVE AROUND ME AND MY LIFE?? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS ERASING ME?!??!
You missed a whoooole lot of points in my post.
Mother’s day and father’s day do not have the systematic cultural baggage behind them that parents are the best possible things you can be. They are a day. That stay within families. That aren’t heavily marketed. Society as a whole tells you not being a parent is okay (well, if you’re a guy. If you’re a girl that’s a whole different story).
Religious holidays? Take your pick, you have something to participate in. Even atheists can get together for a good Festivus. The fact you are not Jewish but Hanukkah is happening does not tell you “your religion isn’t important.” It says “your religion’s holidays are at a different time.”
If you don’t live in a particular country that doesn’t celebrate Independence Day, or Thanksgiving? You will not have anything at all that tells you your country is worse. In fact, you’ll have your own country birthdays.
No, Valentine’s Day is different.
Valentine’s Day ties in with the overreaching cultural belief that romantic relationships are better and friendships are worse. That you aren’t really close to a person if you don’t have a desire to date them. That your friends are literally worth less than your romantic partner.
There is nothing within culture, outside of very small circles, that says friendships are just as important, sometimes more important, than romantic relationships. Rarely will any media, any organization, any cultural artifact show the importance of friendship and how they are equal to romantic relationship. “Friendzone” is considered a horrible place to be, because you’re just friends so of course the relationship isn’t as important.
Do not ever take a look at a single holiday without the cultural baggage behind it. Your examples are invalid because of this oversight.
I wonder how much internalized allosexism that “fucking-asexual-community” person has absorbed. And wow, what a case of Completely Missing the Point. And…just…why would you defend a hyper-commercialized, in-your-face celebration of amatonormativity? I don’t get it.
Valentine’s Day pushes amatonormativity and glorifies romantic love over platonic love. End of story.
I identified as aromantic for a while—I knew I was asexual a long time ago, but didn’t fall in love until I was in college. Every Valentine’s Day felt like a slap that left a bruise on my stupid dysfunctional heart that made me less than human because I didn’t fall in love. The fact that I currently identify as homoromantic doesn’t change the fact that I know how painful and insulting Valentine’s Day is for aromantics (at least in North America; apparently Valentine’s Day in Finland, for example, celebrates all sorts of love).
Also, telling somebody they have no right to feel something (including erasure) is a classic sign of emotional abuse. I would know. I have PTSD from years of that shit.